Author Topic: Some humor  (Read 76163 times)

Offline fatfillup

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #90 on: November 27, 2019, 07:20:07 AM »
^^^^^^^^Wow, lots of truth there

Offline bonneyman

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #91 on: November 27, 2019, 09:29:02 AM »
Well, if we're going to depend on Karen to get us to Mars I guess we'll all be staying here.

Offline pep

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #92 on: November 29, 2019, 08:49:14 PM »
It snowed last night...
8:00 am: I made a snowman.
8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up .
8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended.
8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 - TV news crew from CBC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.
By noon it all melted
Moral:
There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become, all because of snowflakes.

 O0 Pep
1776 ................... what happened!

Offline Rural53

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #93 on: December 04, 2019, 03:46:04 AM »
Since I've been doing this I haven't been bothered by door to door  salesman.  O:-)

Offline pep

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #94 on: December 04, 2019, 07:01:27 AM »
Since I've been doing this I haven't been bothered by door to door  salesman.  O:-)

If you come up with something for the cold callers of cells please post.
1776 ................... what happened!

Offline fatfillup

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #95 on: December 04, 2019, 07:02:50 AM »
Pep, you are so right!! 

Rural, that is hilarious

Offline bonneyman

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #96 on: December 07, 2019, 05:59:40 PM »
It used to be wine, women, and song.

Now it's beer, the old lady, and TV.  :'(

Offline bonneyman

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #97 on: December 07, 2019, 06:04:29 PM »
When people call me an expert, I typically stop them.
I tell them an "expert" is not a great thing. Why they ask?
Well, an ex is a has been, and a spurt is a slug of water!

Offline Rural53

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #98 on: December 07, 2019, 08:33:46 PM »
When people call me an expert, I typically stop them.
I tell them an "expert" is not a great thing. Why they ask?
Well, an ex is a has been, and a spurt is a slug of water!
"X being the unknown quantity and a spurt being a drip under pressure!"

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Offline Rural53

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #99 on: December 07, 2019, 08:35:02 PM »
Today's excitement...



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Offline Rural53

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #100 on: December 12, 2019, 01:35:56 AM »
….

Offline ken w.

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #101 on: December 12, 2019, 10:06:35 AM »
I picked up the Polish revolver the other day. Funny that it only came with one round.

Offline goodfellow

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #102 on: December 12, 2019, 10:28:18 AM »
I picked up the Polish revolver the other day. Funny that it only came with one round.

You sure it's not a new DNC mandated prototype?

Offline TacticalFun

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #103 on: December 16, 2019, 09:02:40 AM »
...

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Offline DeadNutz

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #104 on: December 16, 2019, 02:41:52 PM »
You've got that right George. The only thing worse is Prussian Blue.