Author Topic: Some humor  (Read 76138 times)

lostmind

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Some humor
« on: January 19, 2019, 10:07:23 AM »
A Little Humor To Brighten Your Day

A woman is watching television when suddenly she yells, “Don’t go there! Don’t go to the church you dumb bitch!

Her husband hears her yelling and hurries into the room. He says, “What are you watching?”

She says, “Our wedding video.”

Offline coolmercury

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #1 on: January 19, 2019, 05:38:41 PM »
What happened to the humor thread old GG had?

Offline muddy

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #2 on: January 19, 2019, 06:48:39 PM »
What happened to the humor thread old GG had?
It vanished with the old site.

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Offline fatfillup

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #3 on: January 21, 2019, 07:07:21 AM »
That's funny :))

lostmind

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #4 on: January 21, 2019, 10:06:41 AM »
Some mornings I wake up grouchy , but usually I let her sleep.

Offline Heiny57

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #5 on: January 21, 2019, 05:19:55 PM »
 :))
MAGA

If you can’t fix it with a hammer, it must be electrical.

Offline pep

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #6 on: February 03, 2019, 08:14:25 AM »
*********************RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE***************

1.Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and   companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere..... But she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.   "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.   So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There
 are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driversaid "No, jump in!"

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked "What's on the TV?"    I said "Dust!"

Can't you just hear him say all of these? I love it...this is from the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word........ Just clean and simple fun!



1776 ................... what happened!

Offline goodfellow

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #7 on: February 03, 2019, 08:32:47 AM »

Can't you just hear him say all of these? I love it...this is from the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word........ Just clean and simple fun!


Are those Rodney Dangerfield quotes? 

Offline goodfellow

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #8 on: February 03, 2019, 08:46:08 AM »
I agree with Pep -- humor these days, whether on a live stage, at comedy clubs, or on TV is mostly foul mouthed dribble. The true belly laughs were provided by classic comedians; no vulgarity.

watch Rickles slowly whip this crowd into full blown tears of laughter....


....same with Foster Brooks....


..........




« Last Edit: February 03, 2019, 08:54:42 AM by goodfellow »

lostmind

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #9 on: February 03, 2019, 10:34:14 AM »
.

Offline Rural53

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #10 on: February 03, 2019, 05:03:21 PM »
...

Offline muddy

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #11 on: February 04, 2019, 08:30:19 PM »
Foster Brooks was hilarious!




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Offline muddy

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #12 on: February 04, 2019, 08:33:23 PM »

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Offline Rural53

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #13 on: February 05, 2019, 12:56:36 AM »
....

Offline J.A.F.E.

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #14 on: February 05, 2019, 03:53:25 AM »
A man and his young son are in the drug store and pass a display of condoms. The young boy asks his father what they are for and dad explains. The son then asks why they come in packs of three. Dad says those are for high school seniors one for Friday night and two for Saturday night. The young boy then asks about the six pack. Dad explains those are for college two for Friday night, two for Saturday night and two for Sunday. The young boy then asks about the twelve pack and dad says those are for married men one for January, one for February, ...
People who confuse etymology and entomology bug me in ways I can’t put into words.