Author Topic: Some humor  (Read 77235 times)

Offline J.A.F.E.

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #135 on: February 09, 2020, 08:13:55 PM »
I was looking for an Escape.
People who confuse etymology and entomology bug me in ways I can’t put into words.

Offline jabberwoki

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #136 on: February 10, 2020, 06:06:34 PM »
To go back home?
Is the need enough? Or does the want suffice?

Offline J.A.F.E.

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #137 on: February 10, 2020, 07:46:26 PM »
That's how I Function.
People who confuse etymology and entomology bug me in ways I can’t put into words.

Offline jabberwoki

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #138 on: February 10, 2020, 08:03:59 PM »
Glad you got it under control.
Is the need enough? Or does the want suffice?

Offline J.A.F.E.

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #139 on: February 10, 2020, 09:10:14 PM »
You are quite a character.
People who confuse etymology and entomology bug me in ways I can’t put into words.

Offline jabberwoki

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #140 on: February 10, 2020, 11:31:11 PM »
Defiantly in the upper case I`m just that type of guy, always in control never moving backspace just shifting on.
Is the need enough? Or does the want suffice?

Offline J.A.F.E.

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #141 on: February 11, 2020, 12:43:43 AM »
I think I need to see my lawyers Hunt and Peck after that remark.

People who confuse etymology and entomology bug me in ways I can’t put into words.

Offline jabberwoki

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #142 on: February 11, 2020, 06:16:55 PM »
Mmmm let me process that info...
Is the need enough? Or does the want suffice?

Offline J.A.F.E.

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #143 on: February 11, 2020, 07:28:30 PM »
Someone stole all the punctuation keys on my keyboard. I see a long sentence ahead.
People who confuse etymology and entomology bug me in ways I can’t put into words.

Offline Rural53

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #144 on: February 19, 2020, 01:30:37 AM »
A repeat but...

A little insight on the proper terminology....

DRILL PRESS : A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

TACK WELD : for very strongly securing parts in the wrong spot. Hides in places impossible to remove with any known rotation tools. Also, the application of said delivers molten metal onto the hand of person who says, it's just a quick tack "

WIRE WHEEL : Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh sh*t'

PLIERS : Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER : An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW : One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS : Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH : Used almost entirely for lighting on fire various flammable objects in your shop. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race..

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK : Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

BAND SAW : A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST : A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER : Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER : A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.

PRY BAR : A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER : A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER : Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.

UTILITY KNIFE : Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

Son of a bitch TOOL : Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a b*tch' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.

Happy Wednesday..........👉🧔👈

Offline Heiny57

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #145 on: February 19, 2020, 06:51:46 AM »
 :))  :))  :))  :))
MAGA

If you can’t fix it with a hammer, it must be electrical.

Offline Rural53

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #146 on: February 25, 2020, 10:49:35 PM »


I know a few of you are Dr Who fans.


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Offline muddy

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #147 on: February 26, 2020, 05:25:36 AM »
David is my favorite doctor. Him and Donna make such a great pair.

Sent from the twisted mind of the Mudman


Offline Rural53

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #148 on: February 29, 2020, 03:15:38 PM »








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Offline torqueman2002

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #149 on: February 29, 2020, 07:08:04 PM »
 :singing: :singing:
"I got to show the young boys how not to do it. I haven't showed them everything not to do, yet. It's a big job!" - Otto Kilcher