Author Topic: Some humor  (Read 77749 times)

Offline muddy

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #255 on: June 28, 2021, 08:31:20 PM »
lmfao hd wallpapers

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Offline DeadNutz

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #256 on: July 11, 2021, 11:38:09 AM »
I wish I could give credit to whoever wrote this about Senior Teenagers but I have no idea who that is. I didn’t forget. It wasn’t a senior teenager moment….I just never knew.
“I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car

The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant. Life is great.

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the “Jim” this morning.

When I was a child, I thought “nap time” was a punishment. Now it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is: ”I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”

I don’t have gray hair, I have “wisdom highlights”! I’m just very wise.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would’ve put them on my knees.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.

Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

At my age “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can’t remember their names.

Now, I’m wondering: did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?”

Offline jabberwoki

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #257 on: July 11, 2021, 12:25:45 PM »
A freakin men   :08:
Is the need enough? Or does the want suffice?

Offline Heiny57

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #258 on: July 11, 2021, 08:16:43 PM »
 :))  wait......... those things sound like me.  :smiley_confused1:
MAGA

If you can’t fix it with a hammer, it must be electrical.

Offline Rural53

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #259 on: July 12, 2021, 04:53:33 AM »
I wish I could give credit to whoever wrote this about Senior Teenagers but I have no idea who that is. I didn’t forget. It wasn’t a senior teenager moment….I just never knew.
“I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car

The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant. Life is great. Tell that to one of my past workmates, baby in his fifties is seriously cramping his style

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now. I've found airhorns just as effective

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers. Wait, how do you know my female friends?!?!

I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row. Amateur, try twenty

I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the “Jim” this morning. I must try this

When I was a child, I thought “nap time” was a punishment. Now it feels like a small vacation. So my quick nap on Sunday when I got home at 2pm turned into dragging my sort ar(@$* out of bed at 8pm to have dinner

The biggest lie I tell myself is: ”I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.” 21st Century trick - email yourself

I don’t have gray hair, I have “wisdom highlights”! I’m just very wise. At least you still have hair!

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would’ve put them on my knees.  Can you still see your knees?

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.  You too!

Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?  :D

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.  Of course I talk to myself, it is the only way to get an intelligent answer around here!

At my age “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.  Truth

I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can’t remember their names.

Now, I’m wondering: did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?”

Offline muddy

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #260 on: July 13, 2021, 08:17:30 PM »


Sent from the twisted mind of the mudman


Offline Rural53

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #261 on: July 16, 2021, 09:14:59 PM »

Offline pep

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #262 on: July 17, 2021, 06:40:58 AM »
A bad joke
1776 ................... what happened!

Offline muddy

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #263 on: July 20, 2021, 05:54:19 AM »
how often do i feed my betta fish

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Offline Rural53

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #264 on: July 21, 2021, 05:50:29 AM »

Offline Rural53

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #265 on: July 21, 2021, 01:56:53 PM »

Offline fatfillup

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #266 on: July 21, 2021, 02:49:31 PM »
Saw this On GJ and didn't get it for a while till someone pointed it out to me. 

Offline DeadNutz

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #267 on: July 21, 2021, 04:42:25 PM »
Saw this On GJ and didn't get it for a while till someone pointed it out to me. 

I would like to see a Tesla driver hassle that guy for parking there. :021:

Offline slip knot

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #268 on: July 21, 2021, 06:54:31 PM »
out on the interstate theres a flea bag motel where all the construction workers stay. its got a Tesla station in the parking lot. Well these construction guys use up all the parking so they sometimes park in the Tesla area. One guy had a sign on his wind shield that the truck identified as a tesla.  :lol_hitting:

Offline muddy

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Re: Some humor
« Reply #269 on: July 27, 2021, 08:49:56 PM »


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