Author Topic: So frustrated with the police  (Read 8227 times)

Offline m_fumich

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So frustrated with the police
« on: June 27, 2019, 02:49:53 AM »
I hadn’t heard from my buddy Bryan in several days which is unusual and I couldn’t get in touch with him. Someone else was answering his phone. He was staying in a bad neighborhood but I didn’t know exactly where so I filed a missing persons report on Tuesday. I get a call on Wednesday from the police and they tell me Bryan is dead. They won’t tell me anything else. Bryan has no family. He was 62 and never married and has no kids. His parents and sister are deceased. The police aren’t concerned that he owned a pistol and it’s unaccounted for or that his possessions were left in his motel room for motel management to take and do with as they please. They won’t even tell me where he was so I can locate his truck. When I told them about his pistol they asked if I had proof he owned a gun. How about his carry permit or the background check and all the paperwork he had to fill out to buy the gun or the fact it’s registered to him? That’s all stuff they have access to. From the start the police have been hesitant to help. Before I filed the missing persons report, they tried telling me he might have moved out of state and suggested I didn’t know him very well. He made me the beneficiary to his life insurance and I was his ONLY friend on Facebook. He joined Facebook to follow what I was doing everyday. When I filed the report, they showed me his drivers license picture and asked if that was him. I said it was. Then they asked me if I had a picture of him. Seriously? They had one right there that he posed for and was as good as any picture I would ever have.

It’s 2:30 am and I can’t sleep because the officer I need to talk to won’t be back in his office for another 2 days. In the mean time, all Bryan’s possessions could be getting picked over by anyone the motel manager wants to give it to because a dead man isn’t going to complain. I’m trying to get his former employer to give me a copy of his life insurance beneficiary form so I can prove to the police that I am a person that Bryan would have trusted to oversee his affairs and that’s just so I can find out when he died and where he was. They weren’t interested in talking to me at all until I told them I knew where he was born and where his family had lived.

Unfortunately, Bryan left his job due to health issues so the life insurance policy isn’t in effect. He wanted to leave me that money to help me with the animal rescue work I do. I’d rather have my friend and don’t care about the money at all but it’s a shame his wish to help didn’t happen.

The state has a list of 10 relations they have to locate or prove don’t exist before I can even offer to pay for his burial. It could be months before Bryan gets buried. They will have to check will all 50 states to see if there was ever a marriage certificate with his name on it or a birth certificate listing him as the father. They’ll have to find where is parents and sister lived then get proof they died. They might eventually find his sisters kids that he hadn’t had a relationship with and then they have to refuse to accept his remains. Only then can I try to get him buried. This is such bull shit.


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Offline pep

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Re: So frustrated with the police
« Reply #1 on: June 27, 2019, 07:50:50 AM »
Is the guy with us or not or do you know?
1776 ................... what happened!

Offline m_fumich

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Re: So frustrated with the police
« Reply #2 on: June 27, 2019, 07:56:28 AM »
He’s dead. The police called and told me that yesterday. The ME ruled it death from natural causes. But I can’t find out where he was found or if they even know where he was staying. When I told them he owned a pistol and expressed concerns that someone would take it from his motel room, they asked if I had proof that he owned a gun. They’re not concerned about public safety unless I can prove he had a gun. He had a carry permit and the gun is registered in his name. They have the proof. They just need to check the records.


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Offline RustFarmer

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Re: So frustrated with the police
« Reply #3 on: June 27, 2019, 08:31:58 AM »
Matt, I'm sorry for the loss of your friend.

The Police are conducting an investigation.  At this point you may be a suspect, either in his death, or something (drugs, theft) related to his death.  I would suggest you make some notes to your self on the time frame of your contacts with him.  Specifically, the times of your phone calls to him that were answered by someone else.  They may get a search warrant for your phone, which means you lose your phone for awhile.

Not sure how things work in your county/state, but I don't think the police will act as probate investigator or probate court.  A probate investigator has probably already secured his stuff, and is trying to locate next of kin.  You may want to get in touch with the probate investigator and let them know what you know of his family.

Once again, sorry for your loss.
« Last Edit: June 27, 2019, 08:37:09 AM by RustFarmer »

Offline Rewind

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Re: So frustrated with the police
« Reply #4 on: June 27, 2019, 09:01:06 AM »
WOW..........that sucks so bad, my heart goes out to you. I pray you get the answers you want and are able to bury your friend.
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Offline m_fumich

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Re: So frustrated with the police
« Reply #5 on: June 27, 2019, 09:09:30 AM »
I just got off the phone with the ME’s office. Bryan died June 12th. The police said he died of natural causes. The ME said it’s still under investigation. I’m expecting a call back from the ME’s office. The lady I spoke to wanted to leave it up to the lead investigator what info was released so I hope to find out where Bryan’s stuff is.

I told them what they needed to expedite finding his closest relative and who his last employer was.


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Offline m_fumich

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Re: So frustrated with the police
« Reply #6 on: June 27, 2019, 09:11:51 AM »
Not sure how things work in your county/state, but I don't think the police will act as probate investigator or probate court.  A probate investigator has probably already secured his stuff, and is trying to locate next of kin.  You may want to get in touch with the probate investigator and let them know what you know of his family.

From what I can tell, the police are leaving it up to the motel manager to disperse his possessions as they see fit. I’m still trying to find out what motel he was in so I can find out for sure.



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Offline RustFarmer

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Re: So frustrated with the police
« Reply #7 on: June 27, 2019, 09:24:21 AM »
Maybe the police decided the value of Bryan's property was less than his motel bill.

Offline m_fumich

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Re: So frustrated with the police
« Reply #8 on: June 27, 2019, 09:29:15 AM »
Maybe the police decided the value of Bryan's property was less than his motel bill.

Including his truck, laptop, all his power tools, and his pistol? Besides, his room would have been paid ahead of time. He was in a motel in the hood according to him. Places like that don’t let you run a tab.


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Offline pep

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Re: So frustrated with the police
« Reply #9 on: June 27, 2019, 09:32:29 AM »
He’s dead. The police called and told me that yesterday. The ME ruled it death from natural causes. But I can’t find out where he was found or if they even know where he was staying. When I told them he owned a pistol and expressed concerns that someone would take it from his motel room, they asked if I had proof that he owned a gun. They’re not concerned about public safety unless I can prove he had a gun. He had a carry permit and the gun is registered in his name. They have the proof. They just need to check the records.


T

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To be fare unless the gun is involved in a crime, there is no real way to trace it at this time. The WCL only gives permission to carry. Has nothing to do with the hardware.

Hope he was sleeping when called home ..
Cheers,
Pep
1776 ................... what happened!

Offline m_fumich

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Re: So frustrated with the police
« Reply #10 on: June 27, 2019, 09:45:23 AM »

To be fare unless the gun is involved in a crime, there is no real way to trace it at this time. The WCL only gives permission to carry. Has nothing to do with the hardware.

Hope he was sleeping when called home ..
Cheers,
Pep

I would have expected his handgun to be registered to him but I just checked and Tennessee doesn’t require handgun registration. But the police shouldn’t be unconcerned about what happened to his gun. There have been 40 road rage related shootings in Memphis this year. I used to defend the violence in Memphis as not random. I don’t do that anymore.



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Offline DeadNutz

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Re: So frustrated with the police
« Reply #11 on: June 27, 2019, 10:49:18 AM »
Matt, sorry about the loss of your friend and everything you are going through when you are trying to do the right thing by your friend.

I know every state does things differently about these situations and probate. We had a friend die in our house in Vegas. A neighbor called us in L.A. to tell us and we got there early the next morning to find the house sealed and we could not make entry. There was a number for the county on the paperwork so we called and made a visit to the county office we had to go to. We were told that until they found a will we could not make entry to our house as his possessions were still in there. Fortunately the wife knew the law firm in Fl. that had drawn up the will with the wife named as executor and beneficiary and they faxed it to the county. They gave us the stuff the county had removed for their investigation and told us we could make entry and then told us what funeral home the body was at.

The county said the law required proof before they could do anything and fortunately we were able to produce it. It was very frustrating to deal with the county but they have the law to deal with. It is a tough thing to go through and requires a level head to take appropriate steps. I wish you the best in all of this.

Offline m_fumich

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Re: So frustrated with the police
« Reply #12 on: June 27, 2019, 10:54:25 AM »

The county said the law required proof before they could do anything and fortunately we were able to produce it. It was very frustrating to deal with the county but they have the law to deal with. It is a tough thing to go through and requires a level head to take appropriate steps. I wish you the best in all of this.

I’m hoping the Memphis Police Dept sealed his room. I know what Bryan wanted done with his things and I don’t want some motel owner in the hood declaring Christmas came early this year.


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Online skfarmer

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Re: So frustrated with the police
« Reply #13 on: June 27, 2019, 11:05:10 AM »
sorry for your loss but i think the popo are doing things the way they have to. they don't know you from adam. an unattended  death makes things messy and you could be suspect, opportunist, innocent bystander or any other thing in between, they don't know. this will shake out and you will get answers. if your friend did not have his affairs in some sort of order that is his fault, not yours, not the police, not anyone.
from the ashes shall rise a phoenix

i was here when the hangout turned into mexican food site!

Offline m_fumich

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Re: So frustrated with the police
« Reply #14 on: June 27, 2019, 12:42:22 PM »
sorry for your loss but i think the popo are doing things the way they have to. they don't know you from adam. an unattended  death makes things messy and you could be suspect, opportunist, innocent bystander or any other thing in between, they don't know. this will shake out and you will get answers. if your friend did not have his affairs in some sort of order that is his fault, not yours, not the police, not anyone.

I don’t want them to hand his possessions over to me. I want them to prevent the motel from claiming them or passers by grabbing what they want. Someone already has his cell phone. I expect to go through all the legal red tape concerning his stuff. The police have lead me to believe they took his body and did nothing to protect his property.


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Offline m_fumich

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Re: So frustrated with the police
« Reply #15 on: June 28, 2019, 12:21:14 PM »
I’m finally getting info from the police. At first they said they didn’t know he had a vehicle at the motel but the motel said his truck was towed the day he was found. After that, the police confirmed they did tow his truck. I’ve got to call the motel tomorrow to speak to the manager to find out about the stuff from his room. The medical examiner confirmed the police have his pistol. The motel clerk I spoke to said he was found sitting in a chair in his room holding his pistol. The only think that’s been consistent from all sources is that he died of natural causes. The Sgt in charge of the investigation said he has no next of kin that they can verify. We will see where things go from here.


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Offline Rewind

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Re: So frustrated with the police
« Reply #16 on: July 08, 2019, 12:59:28 PM »
Any new developments?
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Offline m_fumich

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Re: So frustrated with the police
« Reply #17 on: July 08, 2019, 01:44:13 PM »
Nothing concrete. I was told that Brian’s possessions will probably be sold and the probate lawyer will get to keep the money.


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Offline m_fumich

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Re: So frustrated with the police
« Reply #18 on: July 11, 2019, 05:46:12 PM »
It’s been 30 days since Bryan died so the ME called me to say they can release his body. There were suggestion that Bryan had committed suicide. He was found in a chair in his room with his pistol in his hand. I know he liked handling his gun so I considered the possibility that he was just holding it when he fell asleep and he died in his sleep. When I specifically asked about cause of death, they said it was ruled a suicide. Bryan died from a self inflicted gunshot wound. Now I’m left with a lot of questions that will never be answered.

My wife found a funeral home that will cremate him for around $700. I just have to decide on an appropriate place to scatter his ashes.


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Offline m_fumich

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Re: So frustrated with the police
« Reply #19 on: July 14, 2019, 12:44:31 AM »
We started a GoFundMe. The exact cost of the cremation is $800 but that doesn’t include the cost of a death certificate. We’re also going to submit Bryan’s DNA to “23 and Me” to see if we can find any relatives. We hit our goal in less than 24 hours thanks to my wife’s friends. No one that donated ever knew who Bryan was before his death.


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Offline jabberwoki

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Re: So frustrated with the police
« Reply #20 on: July 14, 2019, 06:34:49 PM »
That's a nice end.
Is the need enough? Or does the want suffice?

Offline mrbill

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Re: So frustrated with the police
« Reply #21 on: July 14, 2019, 07:33:43 PM »
Matt,

I hope that when I pass I am lucky enough to have someone who has the same level of compassion you have shown for your friend Bryan.  You've given us all a lesson in how to do the right thing.  My hat is off to you.

Regards,

Bill

Offline m_fumich

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Re: So frustrated with the police
« Reply #22 on: July 14, 2019, 09:40:31 PM »
Thanks Bill.


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Offline Rewind

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Re: So frustrated with the police
« Reply #23 on: July 15, 2019, 01:20:42 PM »
Apparently Brian had some troubles, but I'm sure you were one of the bright spots in his life. I'm glad he had a friend like you.
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Offline m_fumich

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Re: So frustrated with the police
« Reply #24 on: July 18, 2019, 06:30:52 PM »
I got a bit more information today. I finally got through to the motel manager where he died. Bryan left nothing in his room. I already knew his next weeks bill was due the day he was found. It appears he packed all his things in his Montero then went back to his room and shot himself. Bryan wasn’t working. He had no source of income but he said he had money saved. I suspect he didn’t want to go back to being homeless. He had said many times he wanted to live alone. If I though for one moment he no longer had the means to keep a roof over his head, I would have insisted he come live with me. I have an unused bedroom and I’d have liked the company.


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Offline m_fumich

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Re: So frustrated with the police
« Reply #25 on: August 07, 2019, 10:28:26 PM »
As a direct result of Bryan’s suicide, one of the schools my wife works for is having suicide awareness training for the teachers. With an increase in suicide rates among adolescents, the head of schools thought it was something they should get a little training on.

BTW, the crematorium will be picking Bryan up from the ME’s office this week. The ME called me today to make sure it was OK to release his body to them. I can’t figure out why they would need my OK since I’m not the next of kin. I don’t have any specific right to make these decisions than anyone else according to the law. I’m waiting to hear back from the county attorneys office about Bryan’s possessions.


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Offline m_fumich

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So frustrated with the police
« Reply #26 on: July 15, 2020, 10:52:02 PM »
I know this is an old thread but I though it would update it. There have been some interesting developments.

Bryan was 62. He said he grew up in Texas and I assumed he had been born there. I vaguely remember him saying his father had lived in TN one point. He told me his parents and sister were all dead. He did tell me his father had been an engineer and was well educated. At Bryan’s age, it’s reasonable to expect his parents to have died. By February, the Memphis Police Department has ZERO leads on Bryan’s next of kin. I decided to enlist the help of my genealogy friends on Facebook. I’ve been into genealogy for over 35 years but doing research now is so much easier.

To make a long story short, within 4 hours of posting a message on the genealogy group FB page, a friend in California identified Bryan’s mother and father. His father was born in **** and was working on his Master’s in Engineering at Cornell when Bryan was born in ****. Over the years, his father worked for **** in ****, **** in ****, and **** in **** state. This explains why Brian grew up in Texas. Here’s the shocker. Bryan’s parents are still alive. His mother moved into a care facility back in November 2019 in ****. His father is 94 and living in **** again. That’s only 2 hours from me. I spoke to Bryan’s dad that night. Bryan looked just like his dad and sounded like him to. John told me he hadn’t talked to Bryan in 40 years. John agreed to sign what ever documents were necessary for the MPD to release Bryan’s possessions to me. We finally got a letter notarized and in their hands in April. I have since spoken to the Sgt in charge of Bryan’s case and he said he sent the paperwork to the legal department but no further progress has been made.

I was told several months ago that Bryan’s pistol would never be released because it was used in the commission of a crime. I’m going to wait until I get the rest of Bryan’s stuff before I fight them on that issue. Suicide has been decriminalized in every state. No crime was committed and they can’t permanently seize his property unless he was found guilty of a crime. We will see how that goes.

EDIT to remove personally identifying information. It is against the Terms of service to include personal information of others without their knowledge or permission. Do not remove this note again.
« Last Edit: July 16, 2020, 09:39:22 PM by J.A.F.E. »