Author Topic: Some humor  (Read 76117 times)

Offline Rural53

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1301
Re: Some humor
« Reply #375 on: March 29, 2023, 07:24:15 PM »
No wonder people can't understand photographers when they talk about 'twilights' and 'hours' at dawn.

Offline Rural53

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1301
Re: Some humor
« Reply #376 on: March 31, 2023, 06:11:13 PM »
Introducing our latest product innovation: The Inflatable Rock!
Perfect for hikers who want to take a break and sit on something that looks and feels just like a real rock. No need to carry heavy camping chairs anymore. Our Inflatable Rocks are lightweight, portable, and easy to inflate. Get yours today and take your outdoor experience to the next level!
Shop now 👉 https://www.torpedo7.co.nz/content/inflatable-rocks
#inflatablerock #rock #hikersbestfriend #petrock #torpedo7

Offline pep

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1179
  • Personal TEXT
Re: Some humor
« Reply #377 on: March 31, 2023, 07:31:20 PM »
 no words needed
1776 ................... what happened!

Offline Rural53

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1301
Re: Some humor
« Reply #378 on: March 31, 2023, 08:58:35 PM »
....
« Last Edit: March 31, 2023, 09:00:44 PM by Rural53 »

Offline Uncle Buck

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1402
Re: Some humor
« Reply #379 on: March 31, 2023, 11:08:22 PM »
....

Ya know that Snap-on actually offered something very similar to that 10-15 years or so ago. Worse, I think I  might even have one in my box! LOL   :lol_hitting:
« Last Edit: March 31, 2023, 11:13:02 PM by Uncle Buck »
You boys better hold on cause I'm gonna have to stand on it!

Offline J.A.F.E.

  • Resident Alien
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2611
Re: Some humor
« Reply #380 on: April 01, 2023, 07:04:42 AM »
....

Ya know that Snap-on actually offered something very similar to that 10-15 years or so ago. Worse, I think I  might even have one in my box! LOL   :lol_hitting:

It's listed as an adjustable crowsfoot. Snap-on part number ADCF8 it's 3/8 drive. Bahco has the same one - both are listed as made in Spain so likely it's made by Irimo. But other companies make similar.

I've only used it to replace fixtures up under a couple sinks but it did come in quite handy.

Since it's a joke thread...

I once had a contortionist girlfriend. She was head over heels in love with me.
People who confuse etymology and entomology bug me in ways I can’t put into words.

Offline Uncle Buck

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1402
Re: Some humor
« Reply #381 on: April 01, 2023, 08:30:44 AM »
....

Ya know that Snap-on actually offered something very similar to that 10-15 years or so ago. Worse, I think I  might even have one in my box! LOL   :lol_hitting:

It's listed as an adjustable crowsfoot. Snap-on part number ADCF8 it's 3/8 drive. Bahco has the same one - both are listed as made in Spain so likely it's made by Irimo. But other companies make similar.

I've only used it to replace fixtures up under a couple sinks but it did come in quite handy.

Since it's a joke thread...

I once had a contortionist girlfriend. She was head over heels in love with me.

Splendid! You outdid yourself with that one Steve!  :lol_hitting:
You boys better hold on cause I'm gonna have to stand on it!

Offline bonneyman

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3953
Re: Some humor
« Reply #382 on: April 01, 2023, 08:42:06 AM »
I got this joke from another forum. I'm sure I'm missing a little but I've got the gist of it.

A blonde comes into a bar exclaiming, "53 days, 53 days"! She keeps saying it, and then a blonde friend of hers comes in and repeats the phrase "53 days"! This goes on for about 10 minutes, and the bartender finally asks them what is all the fifty-three days are about.

"Well", says the first blonde, "we bought this jigsaw puzzle, and it says 3 to 5 years on the box. But the two of us assembled it in only 53 days!"  :lol_hitting:

Offline Rural53

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1301
Re: Some humor
« Reply #383 on: April 13, 2023, 11:16:08 PM »
 :lol_hitting:

Offline bonneyman

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3953
Re: Some humor
« Reply #384 on: April 18, 2023, 03:25:37 PM »
What do dentist's call X-rays?

Tooth pics.

Offline Rural53

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1301
Re: Some humor
« Reply #385 on: April 22, 2023, 06:11:08 AM »
A report from a Ship's Master?

It is with regret and haste that I write to you, regret that such a small misunderstanding could lead to the following circumstances, and haste in order that you get this report before you form your own pre-conceived opinions from reports in the world press, for I am sure they will tend to over-dramatise the affair.

We had just picked up the pilot, and the apprentice had returned from changing the "G" flag for an "H" and, it being his first trip was having difficulty in rolling up the "G" flag. I therefore proceeded to show him how. Coming to the last part, I told him to "let go", the lad although willing, is not too bright, necessitating my having to repeat the order in a sharper tone. At this moment the Chief Officer appeared from the chart room, having been plotting the vessel's progress, and, thinking that it was the anchors that were being referred to repeated the "let go" to the Third Officer on the forecastle. The port anchor, having being cleared away but not walked out was promptly let go. The effect of letting the anchor drop from the "pipe" whilst the vessel was proceeding at full harbour speed proved too much for the windlass brake, and the entire length of the port cable was pulled out by the roots. I fear that the damage to the chain locker may be extensive. The braking effect of the port anchor naturally caused the vessel to sheer in that direction, right towards the swing bridge that spans the tributary to the river up which we were proceeding.

The swing bridge operator showed great presence of mind by opening the bridge for my vessel. Unfortunately, he did not think to stop the vehicular traffic, the result being that the bridge partly opened and deposited a Volkswagen, two cyclists and a cattle truck on my foredeck. My ship's company are at present rounding up the contents of the latter which from the noise I would say were pigs. In his efforts to stop the progress of the vessel the Third Officer dropped the starboard anchor, too late to be of practical use for it fell on the swing bridge operators cabin.

After the port anchor was let go and the vessel began to sheer, I gave a double full astern on the engine room telegraph and personally rang the engine room to order maximum astern revolutions. I was informed that the sea temperature was 53 degrees and asked if there was a film tonight, my reply would not be constructive to this report.

Up to now I have confined my report to the activities at the forward end of the vessel. Down aft they were having their own problems. At the moment the port anchor was let go, the Second Officer was supervising the making fast of the after tug and was lowering the ship's towing line down onto the tug. The sudden braking effect of the port anchor caused the tug to run in under the stern of my vessel, just at the moment when the propeller was answering my double ring "Full Astern". The prompt action of the Second Officer in securing the inboard end of the towing line delayed the sinking of the tug by some minutes thereby allowing the safe abandonment of that vessel.

It is strange but at the very same moment of letting go the port anchor there was a power cut ashore. The fact that we were passing over a "Cable Area" at the time might suggest that we may have touched something on the river bed. It is perhaps lucky that the high power cables brought down by the foremast were not live, possibly being replaced by the underwater cable, but owing to the shore black out it is impossible to say where the pylon fell.
It never fails to amaze me, the actions and behaviour of foreigners during moments of minor crisis. The pilot, for instance is at this moment huddled in the corner of my day cabin, alternately crooning to himself and crying after having consumed a bottle of gin in a time that is worthy of inclusion in the Guinness Book of Records. The tug captain on the other hand reacted violently and had to be forcibly restrained by the Steward who has him handcuffed in the ship's hospital, where he is telling me to do impossible things with my ship and crew.

I enclose the names and addresses of the drivers of the vehicles on my fore deck, which the third officer collected after his somewhat hurried evacuation of the forecastle. These particulars will enable you to claim for the damage they did to the railings of No. 1 hold. I am enclosing this as a preliminary report as I am finding it difficult to concentrate with the sound of police sirens and their flashing lights.

It is sad to think that had the apprentice realised that there is no need to fly pilot flags after dark, none of this would have happened.

Yours truly.

Captain Anonymous.

Borrowed from Ships Nostalgia forum

Offline Rural53

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1301
Re: Some humor
« Reply #386 on: July 22, 2023, 07:25:40 PM »


Sent from my SM-T505 using Tapatalk


Offline stokester

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 595
  • Air-cooled!
Re: Some humor
« Reply #387 on: July 23, 2023, 05:29:51 PM »
an oldie but even more applicable today...
Nick
Yorktown, VA

Offline bonneyman

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3953
Re: Some humor
« Reply #388 on: July 24, 2023, 08:21:00 AM »
 :))

Offline Rural53

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1301
Re: Some humor
« Reply #389 on: July 26, 2023, 12:24:11 AM »
A mate of mine sent this to me yesterday morning, taken on his way to work in Dunedin.